There To Help

The growing ranks of the 47%.

Let’s go over why we need a government again:

1.  A safety net for The Poor™. Isn’t it misplaced sympathy to wring your hands over unfortunates, but not give the slightest fuck about who gets robbed to provide the alms? In a kinder, more considerate world, the government I live under would ask, “Dave, is now a convenient time to rob you?”

 2.  A war on [some] drugs. Let’s wave off all those deaths resulting from middle-of-the-night SWAT raids on the wrong address and just ask, do you really care if your neighbor smokes a little weed?

 3.  The TSA makes air travel safe. They’ve also made air travel so unpleasant that I, a former frequent flyer, now won’t get on a plane for ANY reason. I can’t imagine I’m the only person that feels that way, so I wonder what effect that has on the airline industry’s bottom line.

 4.  “Running” the economy. I think it’s fucking hilarious when some gasbag politician talks about “creating jobs.” I mean, the jobs they create usually involve high-handed extortion and an outrage to the dignity of the victim. Sorry, I’m not qualified or even interested in such a “job.”

 5.  Without a government, the criminals will run rampant. I’ll take my chances with random robbery any day over unlimited systematic robbery, also known as slavery.

 6.  Our armed forces keep us safe from foreign invaders. What difference does it make whether foreigners plunder us, or the government we live under plunders us into bankruptcy through constant wars on a noun? We’re still broke.

 7.  Without a government, who will build the roads? In the direction we’re going, we don’t need roads. Think North Korea, a country of modern governmental efficiency, to which the US government aspires. Unemployed citizens should walk. Good exercise.

Posted by Dave


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